Mahassen Saber escutando a emissão num café de Zagazig. Foto: Victoria Hazou
No auge da indignação, lembrou-se que a internet podia acolher o seu grito de protesto: «Quando a segurança desaparece da vida de casada e a serenidade deixa de estar ao nosso alcance, então é tempo de fazer a coisa mais desprezada por Alá» escreveu no seu primeiro post. Estava criado o blog I Want A Divorce.
Mahasen teimou e acabou por conseguir divorciar-se, mas nunca mais conseguiu esquecer o que passou. Durante o processo conheceu muitas outras mulheres na mesma situação, envolvidas em disputas intermináveis sem contarem sequer com o apoio das famílias. Além disso, através do blog recebia milhares de acessos de mulheres de todos os países onde a lei muçulmana vigora. Testemunhos e relatos pungentes, pedidos de ajuda, na sua maioria desesperados, que lhe despertaram a vontade de fazer algo mais.
Há seis meses, decidiu tomar a iniciativa de romper o silêncio e dar voz às divorciadas criando a Rádio Motalakat, que traduzido do árabe significa "rádio das divorciadas".
É a primeira rádio de mulheres divorciadas no mundo. Emite via web a partir da sua própria casa e está aberta à participação através do site e de uma página lançada no Facebook. As rúbricas incluídas na programação tentam abrir o debate e combater o tabu a que as mulheres estão e ficam sujeitas, procurando desmistificar o medo de ter que criar os filhos sozinhas e dando pistas para ganharem a sua própria autonomia financeira, duas das razões que mais inibem a decisão do divórcio entre as muçulmanas.
A webradio de Mahasen reúne-se já um conjunto de 23 colaboradores, onde também se incluem homens que partilham da mesma causa.
Francisco Carrión, da agência EFE, esteve no Cairo e conversou com Mahasen Saber:
"Falar sobre o divórcio das mulheres no Egito e, em geral, na sociedade árabe, ainda é um tabu", reconhece Saber em entrevista à Agência Efe.
Participam das atividades da rádio online, transmitida a partir da casa de Saber, 23 pessoas "entre mulheres, homens e jovens que compartilham uma mesma ideia", explica a idealizadora do veículo.
"Nossa sociedade vê as mulheres divorciadas como demônios e os homens como anjos", denuncia Saber, que divide diariamente seu papel de diretora e locutora com suas funções de mãe.
A programação da "primeira rádio de divorciadas do mundo", como diz seu site, inclui programas nos quais as mulheres podem contar sua história ou espaços como "Seu filho: como criá-lo", onde um especialista explica como educar um filho após o divórcio de seus pais.
Há também espaços para prevenir a separação, como "Antes de Dizer que Quero o Divórcio", no qual se discutem soluções aos problemas conjugais sem recorrer a uma ruptura, e programas conduzidos por homens que apresentam uma perspectiva masculina.
Além dos telefonemas ao vivo, os ouvintes entram em contato com Saber por e-mail ou pela rede social Facebook. "São homens e mulheres que me perguntam sobre o processo de divórcio ou sobre outros aspectos da vida matrimonial", conta.
Segundo Saber, a ideia de levar ao rádio o caminho que muitas mulheres precisam percorrer para conseguir a separação fez com que alguns a vejam como uma mulher "valente e sem medo" e outros a critiquem por "ir longe demais".
Mesmo assim, ela considera que a percepção sobre as mulheres que pedem o divórcio está mudando em uma sociedade conservadora como a egípcia. "Intuo isso pelas opiniões que as pessoas dão na rádio e pelas mensagens que chegam pelo blog", diz.
Em 2008, houve mais de 80 mil divórcios no Egito, segundo a agência egípcia de estatísticas.
O islã, no qual está baseada a lei egípcia sobre divórcio, permite que um homem se divorcie de sua mulher apenas ao dizer "eu te repudio" três vezes. As mulheres, por sua vez, passam por um calvário de disputas judiciais.
A lei estabelece que o marido pode voltar a ter a mulher quando ele quiser e só na terceira vez em que repudiá-la, ela pode se considerar definitivamente separada. Mesmo assim, deverá esperar um ano para se casar com outro homem.
A organização Human Rights Watch publicou em 2004 um relatório no qual denunciava esta situação que, segundo afirma agora uma das autoras do documento, Heba Morayed, não mudou.
Se é a esposa que decide empreender o processo de divórcio, a via mais rápida é renunciar à pensão alimentícia, à herança e devolver o dote que o marido pagou.
Este caminho deixa a mulher totalmente indefesa, pois inclusive a casa da família fica sempre com o marido, embora a mãe assuma a custódia dos filhos.
Como esta via envolve gastos enormes, fica fora do alcance da maioria das egípcias, que optam pelo "divórcio de ofensas", no qual devem comprovar a existência de um destes quatro casos: que o marido sofre de uma doença mental ou incurável, incluindo a impotência; que ele não sustenta a família; que está preso ou foragido; ou que "danifica" sua mulher física ou mentalmente.
Agência EFE via O Globo
Divorce, Egyptian Style: Divorcee Radio Breaks Stereotypes
December 16th, 2009“When security disappears in married life, and serenity is not accessible, then it is time to do the thing most despised by Allah.” With these words, Mahasen Saber opens her blog, I want a divorce , and then later her online radio station, Divorce Radio.
Saber was married for three years and spent a great part of them in the courts in an attempt to get her divorce. She refused the advice of some of her friends to get a Khul’ (a divorce initiated by the wife, whereby she renounces her right to her financial entitlements), because “The word khul’ provokes me because it impinges on the rights of the woman and provides her with all the damage.” In her interview with IslamOnline, she discussed the aim of her blog:
My blog mainly aims correcting the image of divorced women in society as well as the image of women seeking divorce, who are not asking for anything except their legitimate right. It also aims to display the ambition, dreams and problems of divorced women in our eastern societies, that she is not an absolute disgrace in the community. Plus I want to point out that Islam gave to the divorced women their position and were always treated with respect, but society changed both this position and the look of respect.In her own words to Al Arabiya television, translated to English by Haaretz, Saber describes how her workplace dealt with her after being divorced: “They told me that from now on, as I was divorced, my situation was sensitive, and it would be better if I did not move around where there were men in the office.”
After the launch of her blog, she wanted to reach much a larger audience by launching an online radio station. Egyptian TV show Al Ashera Masa’an (10 o’clock) covered the topic (Arabic):
Magda Abu Fadil commented on the idea for the Huffington Post:
Egyptian divorcées are no longer alone decrying their fate in a dark corner, fearful of being stigmatized by their conservative society. Now they can commiserate, seek advice, and feel empowered, thanks to an online radio station just for them.People reacted to her work differently. Saber told CNN that “People are shocked at first, but after they read and listen to what we write and present, they like what we talk about…they are happy because I am talking about something they are dealing with.”
This is not the first time the issue of divorce and Egyptian women asking for divorce grabs the media attention. In 1975, the Egyptian star Faten Hamama played the lead role in Uridu Halan (I Want a Solution), based on a famous novel written by Hosn Shah, an Egyptian writer, journalist, and women’s rights activist who has her own column at Alakhbar newspaper, titled “I need a solution”. The movie was about a woman who wanted a divorce, which was almost impossible back then because of how complicated it was to go through the legal steps for getting a divorce.
After the struggle of Egyptian women in the late 1970’s, reforms to the family court allow a woman can ask for a divorce now. The legal dilemma is not a piece of cake, but it’s sure better than it was before.
Currently, nearly 40 percent of marriages in Egypt now end in divorce, making it the highest rate in the Arab world. In 2008 the number of Egyptian couples who divorced increased 8.4 percent from the previous year, according to the Central Agency for Public Mobilization and Statistics (CAPMAS). Egypt is also one of the few countries in the region where the topic is discussed so freely, thanks largely to the initiative of outspoken women
Someone might ask why there is all this fuss now, after all these changes occurred to the Egyptian laws. I asked Saber this exact question:
“I used to think this way too, but knowing is something and passing through the experience is another thing. Yes, there are a lot of changes that have happened to the laws as rules, but it is how they are applied that needs our attention and effort now.”Saber gives an example:
“If a woman is demanding the expenses of her children for her husband (alimony), the law says it’s her right, but to actually get that verdict, she has to go through an enormous hassle that takes very long time, through which no law is stating who will support her children, which makes the problem stay the same.”She gives another example:
“There’s a time frame through which judges circulate, a new judge will naturally order the case to be postponed to get some time to look into it, after which he might order another postponement, and so on.”In this blog post, Saber states the different items in the Egyptian law that she has faced that, she believes need some improvement, and even suggests improvements.
Saber is now planning the official opening of the radio station. She is also planning to organize a peaceful silent protest for those affected by the Personal Status Law on a regular basis every month in front of the National Council for Women. And in case no one responds, she will increase protest frequency on a weekly basis until the implementation of women’s demands to amend the law takes an affect.
It is worth mentioning that Mahasen Saber is not working alone on this radio station. There is a whole team working on it, a team that includes men. This speaks to the fact that, even though things are tough when it comes to dealing with divorced women, even though some families consider divorce an undebatable topic, and even though it is not so easy to go through the legal journey to get a divorce, a group of Egyptian men and women now are working on changing this in the hopes that the next generation will have a less difficult time than these pioneering women did.
For more information on Divorcee Radio, check out these articles (both in English) from Menassat and CNN.
via Muslimah Media Watch
Egyptian radio station battles divorce stigma
When her divorce finally came through after a painful four-year procedure, Mahasen Saber became the target of reproving looks and gossip in Egypt's conservative society.
But she fought back and in a bid to counter the prejudice attached to being no longer married, the young Egyptian mother decided to take to the airwaves on the internet with Radio Divorcees.
"Our society burdens women with the greatest share of responsibility for divorce. The woman is wrong, the woman is bad - she's the reason a marriage failed," said the 30 year-old.
"This radio station is saying that we are not bad. When people tune in, they understand that divorcees can play an active and positive role in society and that women who are divorced from their husbands do not do always so by choice."
Since it started a few months ago, Motalaqat Radio - Radio Divorcees in Arabic - has broadcast on the internet, airing programmes with titles such as You are misunderstood and Diary of a divorced man.
It also put out a programme called Before you say 'I want a divorce', cautioning women on filing for separation too hastily.
The initiative was an immediate success and received wide coverage in the Egyptian media.
Saber says she has about 20 collaborators, but that their Egyptian audience is in the thousands, with others tuning in from as far afield as Morocco and Lebanon. Motalaqat Radio's Facebook site also has more than 1,700 members.
The project was timely and bound to strike a chord in Egypt, a country where the number of divorces is on the rise, despite the value placed on marriage and the stigma of separation.
Government figures indicate that every six minutes a couple separates in Egypt, a country where the population is more than 80 million.
Doaa Eweda, a friend of Saber who works with her on the radio project, points to the growing pressures on women that have contributed to this social trend.
"The number of divorced women in the Arab world has risen sharply, with women marrying very quickly, whether from love, parental pressure or because they fear ending up as spinsters, and that can quickly lead to divorce," she said.
Since 2000, women in Egypt have been able to secure a divorce without needing to prove anything other than incompatibility with their husbands.
But the procedure, known as khulu, obliges the woman to forfeit all of her financial rights and also to return the dowry she received when they married, and the process can take up to six months.
Women can also resort to the older procedure of drawn-out litigation to keep some financial rights, but such court hearings are often seen as biased against them.
It can also be tortuous, as famously depicted in the 1975 film I Want a Solution, in which a woman played by a celebrated Egyptian actress, Fatin Hamama, fought an excruciating battle for a divorce.
In contrast, it is easy for a man to divorce his wife. Official statistics suggest that 80 per cent of divorce cases are instigated by men.
But in Egypt's conservative society, despite the law placing hurdles in the path of women seeking to end their marriages, some people believe the legal system is excessively favourable to females.
"Women have more rights than they should have, they have really gone too far," according to Abdel Rahman Hamid, who heads a men's association against khulu.
"They have exploited this law to further their personal interests, and the family pays the price. This law is not at all fair. Women have become rebellious."
Saber, who works in the administrative department of a university, is well aware of the heavy price that divorced Egyptian women must pay for gaining their freedom.
She says it is impossible to speak to a colleague on the street without immediately being suspected of having a relationship with him.
She also recalls the case of a female doctor who avoided working night shifts, for fear that people would gossip about her.
Saber herself was married for two years, and finds it ironic that she spent twice that time - four years - getting divorced.
Despite not following the khulu procedure, Saber still had to forfeit some of her financial rights in order to speed up the process and protect her five-year-old son from the turmoil of an even lengthier divorce case.
via Daily Telegraph
In conservative Egypt, radio show targets stigma on divorced women
Mahasen Saber started 'Divorce radio' to reverse popular conceptions of divorced women, long stimatized in Egypt's conservative society, and create a supportive community.
Cairo Mahasen Saber spent more than three years in the Egyptian court system trying to divorce her husband. In the lonely and often confusing process, she met many women in similar circumstances who relied on each other for moral support. But their battles didn’t end in court – what followed were stares and whispers.
Four months ago, Ms. Saber started “Divorce Radio,” an Internet-based station that seeks to reverse popular conceptions of divorced women and create a supportive community. Her initiative is part of a broader push in Egypt’s conservative Muslim society to challenge social stigma attached to divorced women.
“Here in Egyptian society, the woman is looked upon at as if she is the one who made a big mistake getting a divorce from her husband. She’s always at fault,” says
Saber, whose station is an extension of her popular blog, which has made her something of an icon in Egyptian media. “I want Arab society to respect women who are divorced.”
Variety of programs, including one by a man
The station runs a variety of programming, including “You Understand Us Wrong,” about the value of divorced women in society, and “Your Son: How You Raise Him,” in which a doctor discusses rearing children of divorced parents. There is also a show led by a divorced man about his experiences.But not all programs focus on life after divorce; “Before You Say ‘I Want a Divorce’” discourages divorce as a solution to marital problems. “I want to say to [listeners], not every problem with your husband should lead to divorce…. There are problems we can deal with and there are problems we cannot deal with,” says Saber.
In Islam, divorce, although permitted, is frowned upon. But divorce statistics in Egypt are the highest in the Arab world: 40 percent of marriages end in divorce.
“The divorce issue is now in every house in our society, every family has a divorced woman – a daughter, a mother, a sister,” says Saber.
Flower vendor: Breaking up families is a 'big problem'
A relatively new law that has made it easier for women to divorce has contributed to surging divorce rates. Under the law, passed in 2000, women can ask for a divorce without explicitly stating the reason. This option, known as khula, offers women previously unavailable privacy, but in exchange, they give up any legal rights to property and their dowry.Men aren’t happy about it.
“It’s an issue of masculinity,” says Mehab Abolkonfan, chairwoman of the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights. “In Eastern society, men should be [in demand], not rejected ... [In khula, a woman] doesn’t have to say ‘he beats me’ or does any bad things, but instead says, ‘I reject this man and I will forgo any kind of financial commitment to leave this man.”
Yasser Shehad, a married flower vendor in downtown Cairo, is saddened by the law’s impact on Egyptian society.
“This [law] increases the rates of divorce and allows women to do whatever they want,” says Mr. Shehad. “Marriage is love and happiness and a family unit. Breaking up the families – that’s a big problem. What else is bigger than breaking up the family?”
via CS Monitor
Egyptian Divorcées, Girls Only, Burst Onto Web Radio Scene
Magda Abu-Fadil
Posted: September 21, 2009 11:57 AM
Egyptian divorcées are no longer alone decrying their fate in a dark corner, fearful of being stigmatized by their conservative society. Now they can commiserate, seek advice, and feel empowered, thanks to an online radio station just for them.
"Motalakat (Divorcées) Radio"
Motalakat is the outlet launched by Mahasen Saber, a thirty-something Egyptian divorcée and mother of a boy, whose cyber broadcasts emerged from an earlier website, Ayza Atala Wa, (I want to get a divorce, and...) dedicated to women whose marriages had failed and were up against tremendous legal odds.
The webcasts and blogposts are delivered in easy to understand casual colloquial Arabic. "Motalakat Radio: See life differently," Saber wrote in a blogpost promo ahead of the official launch.
To reinforce her argument, the veiled and modest Saber appeared on Egyptian talk shows making the case for divorced women who demanded their rights under what many consider arbitrary laws.
Ayza Atala Wa website logo
"When a woman in our society says she wants a divorce, people give her a weird look, so I wanted to say that it's not "haram" (inviolable, or a taboo)," said Saber on a popular Egyptian TV show hosted by movie star Hussein Fahmy.
The program also featured a Moslem religious figure speaking favorably of men taking wives who had been previously married, and who would make good partners because of their upbringing, faith and caring for their families.
"It's a woman's right in the Koran and there are verses in the Holy Book that address the issue," Saber added in her TV interview.
Her desire to help other women emerged from her bitter experience of going through Egypt's exasperatingly arcane and snail-paced court system when she sought to separate from her husband.
The runaround procedures took three years to complete.
"That's when I discovered blogging and began to write about what I saw in court," she explained of the ordeal she faced and the condescending attitude of attorneys hired to help divorcées.
Even when women pleaded with judges in cases against abusive husbands, the common refrain they heard was: "Get a life!"
"So I started the blog to rectify the image society has of divorced women and for these women to assert themselves and demand their rights," Saber said, adding that she wanted society to view divorcées in a humane fashion.
Ayza Atala Wa blog visitors include men -- several regulars -- who discuss marital life and recount problems faced by female relatives or friends.
Saber's online biography describes her as a self-assured woman who wants to be remembered for having helped others, and who enjoys the music of Brian Adams, Sting, Tchaikovsky, and is a fan of Robert de Niro, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Ed Harris, and Omar Sharif.
Her project is one of several that have thrust Egyptian women into the blogosphere.
Last year an enterprising Egyptian young woman launched a web-based radio station called "Banat w' Basssss" (Girls Only), the first such venture in the Arab world.
The webcasts produced in a suburban Cairo apartment target girls but are not of the stereotypical fashion, cosmetics and emotional problem-solving variety.
"Have a problem with the government? We'll help you solve it. Don't know what you want from life? We'll help you with your choices and priorities," the station boasts.
The radio station is the brainchild of Amani El Tunsi, a computer science graduate and one-time graphic designer who was haunted by the thought that Egyptian girls were more focused on husband-hunting or working until "Mr. Right" came along, than on self-fulfillment and developing themselves.
El Tunsi identified herself as the eldest child in her family, but because of traditions, she always had to defer to male siblings and relatives.
"If I complained to my father that my younger brother was rude and shouldn't address me in a disrespectful way, my father would say 'he's your brother, he has a right,'" she recounted.
Her relatives would even blame her for being insolent if she tried to defend herself, reflecting a general trend in Egyptian society.
El Tunsi told the pan-Arab daily Asharq Al-Awsat she'd planned to start a magazine but since most of the people she wanted to reach didn't read, she decided to launch webcasts for girls instead.
Amani El Tunsi (Daily Star Egypt)
She countered criticism that her web radio content was anti-men, saying her goal was to solve girls' problems since most media focus on preparations for marriage but don't zero in on helping girls develop or choose their partners.
While the webcasts are aimed at all segments of society, their main objective is tackling problems faced by girls in Egypt such as sexual harassment, violence against women, and issues of liberty, El Tunsi said.
She admitted to self-censorship to avoid besmirching Egypt's and the Arab World's image.
The project was started by 25 media students of both genders with a budget of $30,000, according to Lebanon's Assafir newspaper. The station broadcasts news, music, cultural, social and entertainment programs.
"Motalakat (Divorcées) Radio"
Motalakat is the outlet launched by Mahasen Saber, a thirty-something Egyptian divorcée and mother of a boy, whose cyber broadcasts emerged from an earlier website, Ayza Atala Wa, (I want to get a divorce, and...) dedicated to women whose marriages had failed and were up against tremendous legal odds.
The webcasts and blogposts are delivered in easy to understand casual colloquial Arabic. "Motalakat Radio: See life differently," Saber wrote in a blogpost promo ahead of the official launch.
To reinforce her argument, the veiled and modest Saber appeared on Egyptian talk shows making the case for divorced women who demanded their rights under what many consider arbitrary laws.
Ayza Atala Wa website logo
"When a woman in our society says she wants a divorce, people give her a weird look, so I wanted to say that it's not "haram" (inviolable, or a taboo)," said Saber on a popular Egyptian TV show hosted by movie star Hussein Fahmy.
The program also featured a Moslem religious figure speaking favorably of men taking wives who had been previously married, and who would make good partners because of their upbringing, faith and caring for their families.
"It's a woman's right in the Koran and there are verses in the Holy Book that address the issue," Saber added in her TV interview.
Her desire to help other women emerged from her bitter experience of going through Egypt's exasperatingly arcane and snail-paced court system when she sought to separate from her husband.
The runaround procedures took three years to complete.
"That's when I discovered blogging and began to write about what I saw in court," she explained of the ordeal she faced and the condescending attitude of attorneys hired to help divorcées.
Even when women pleaded with judges in cases against abusive husbands, the common refrain they heard was: "Get a life!"
"So I started the blog to rectify the image society has of divorced women and for these women to assert themselves and demand their rights," Saber said, adding that she wanted society to view divorcées in a humane fashion.
Ayza Atala Wa blog visitors include men -- several regulars -- who discuss marital life and recount problems faced by female relatives or friends.
Saber's online biography describes her as a self-assured woman who wants to be remembered for having helped others, and who enjoys the music of Brian Adams, Sting, Tchaikovsky, and is a fan of Robert de Niro, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Ed Harris, and Omar Sharif.
Her project is one of several that have thrust Egyptian women into the blogosphere.
Last year an enterprising Egyptian young woman launched a web-based radio station called "Banat w' Basssss" (Girls Only), the first such venture in the Arab world.
The webcasts produced in a suburban Cairo apartment target girls but are not of the stereotypical fashion, cosmetics and emotional problem-solving variety.
"Have a problem with the government? We'll help you solve it. Don't know what you want from life? We'll help you with your choices and priorities," the station boasts.
The radio station is the brainchild of Amani El Tunsi, a computer science graduate and one-time graphic designer who was haunted by the thought that Egyptian girls were more focused on husband-hunting or working until "Mr. Right" came along, than on self-fulfillment and developing themselves.
El Tunsi identified herself as the eldest child in her family, but because of traditions, she always had to defer to male siblings and relatives.
"If I complained to my father that my younger brother was rude and shouldn't address me in a disrespectful way, my father would say 'he's your brother, he has a right,'" she recounted.
Her relatives would even blame her for being insolent if she tried to defend herself, reflecting a general trend in Egyptian society.
El Tunsi told the pan-Arab daily Asharq Al-Awsat she'd planned to start a magazine but since most of the people she wanted to reach didn't read, she decided to launch webcasts for girls instead.
Amani El Tunsi (Daily Star Egypt)
She countered criticism that her web radio content was anti-men, saying her goal was to solve girls' problems since most media focus on preparations for marriage but don't zero in on helping girls develop or choose their partners.
While the webcasts are aimed at all segments of society, their main objective is tackling problems faced by girls in Egypt such as sexual harassment, violence against women, and issues of liberty, El Tunsi said.
She admitted to self-censorship to avoid besmirching Egypt's and the Arab World's image.
The project was started by 25 media students of both genders with a budget of $30,000, according to Lebanon's Assafir newspaper. The station broadcasts news, music, cultural, social and entertainment programs.
via Huffington Post
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